In mixed feelings but I'm feeding myself again ...

Spoke to Shan Shan yesterday and was asked to take care of myself as she feels that I'm not eating properly. This is so as I told her that for the last few days I was just surviving on biscuits, hot dogs and bread. I went to withdraw $$$ today as the exchange rate has turned better, so kind of feeling rich (rubbish thoughts), went to bought a proper meal. Looks yummy rite?

I was really happy on my journey home, had a good dinner, but things are not that pleasing after that. Read a blog and it has affected me again. Guess I'm only good at encouraging others but not myself, I suddenly lost my purpose of being in Melbourne again. I have no idea why I made my life so difficult as everything that I'm buying I have to consider over and over again? Why I chose to be separated with my loves ones? Maybe all this is for me to grow, it maybe my Karma... I felt the pain in my heart again just like 2 weeks back, I'm affected by the environment again. I feel so weak, maybe its because "once bitten twice shy", maybe love don't really exist anymore?

But I hope for *** happiness...